Share on Facebook

A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

The Punniest Newspaper Headlines of 2019

Check out these news stories from 2019 with headlines that'll give you a pun for your money. What a pun-derful year!

newspaper on bright backgroundShutterstock (2),

All in a pun’s work

A good headline captures your attention and gives you the gist of the story. If a writer can do that, plus slide in a pun or two, the temptation for wordplay glory may be too much to resist. Some headline writers were just born to pun. Scroll on for the punniest headlines from 2019.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Coffee prez

When the former CEO of the coffee beverage chain Starbucks announced a potential bid to run for president in 2020, headlines across the nation brewed with nuttiness. The Washington Post called his plan to run “a whole latte trouble,” and CNN went with a “double shot of unease.” Keep the roast going with 25 more coffee puns.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Name dropping

Both Huffington Post and the New York Post achieved what The New Yorker called “tabloid-headline excellence,” with this three-word headline that names the two major players in a scandal with a perfectly descriptive and efficient double entendre as the connecting verb. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos went public with details that David Pecker, head of American Media, was blackmailing him by threatening to release private, explicit photos, and an iconic headline was born.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Heir quotes

British tabloids are famous for their pun-filled headlines, especially when it comes to the Royal Family. The latest royal baby arrived in May 2019 to parents Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, and the Scottish Sun punned on the fact that it was an early morning birth, at 5:26 a.m. You won’t want to miss these adorable pics of royal babies throughout history.

punny newspapper headlineShutterstock (2),

Title goals

Whichever team wins the Super Bowl, the sports pages touch down on punny headlines when they report the news. When the Patriots won their sixth Super Bowl the Boston Herald went with a reference to a popular 1972 bestseller to add allure. The Los Angeles Times lamented the loss with “Lambs, Not Rams.” Don’t miss these 15 crazy and unbelievable facts about the Super Bowl.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Best in show

The violence took place on a deck in Nova Scotia and was reported by CBC news. Sophie the Shih Tzu saved a cat, Morrie, from attack by raccoons. Sophie yipped and bit the raccoons, despite being fearful of “everything,” even balloons. Sophie also deserves praise for inspiring this gloriously punny headline. This one may not have been the stuff of legends, these 16 iconic newspaper covers went down in history.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Squirrel away

The Portland Press Herald came up with this adorably nutty headline for a story that explores “mast years,” times when oak trees, “tend to produce an excess of mature acorns at seemingly random intervals on a synchronized schedule.” New England residents got annoyed with all the raking.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Bone yard

The IndyStar traveled to Franklin, Indiana and took note of the business district’s love affair with skeleton decor. The headline also offers an anatomy pun that’s very humerus. If you want more skele-puns, here are 20 more to make you groan.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Potty training

The average American uses three rolls of toilet paper per week, according to Canada’s National Post. That’s harmful to Canada’s old boreal forests, as determined by an environmental report, titled “The Issue with Tissue.” Don’t miss these 20 cartoons of daily life that will make you cry-laugh.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Coast is clear

There’s frequently an alligator involved in the popular “Florida Man” headlines. In this case, however, the story is not only sweet and feel-good, but it features a charming pun. Plus, there’s no mug shot! Did you hear about the Florida man who called 911 because they didn’t put the special sauce on his sandwich? He called back when the cops didn’t arrive fast. Here are more hilarious 911 calls.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Ham it up

In September, The Economist went hog wild when it came to a puntastic headline, giving pun-lovers out there a bacon of hope. Sow hammy. The article examines how “this little piggy went to the market.” Kidding! It’s an in-depth look at serious topics related to the pork economy—it really goes whole hog on this meaty topic. If you like these, you’ll love these 31 groan-worthy dad jokes.

punny newspaper headlineShutterstock (2),

Sine qua Rom

The Wall Street Journal got flashy with its pun on a Latin phrase in its headline for the story about Mitt Romney’s anonymous Twitter account, which went under the name, Pierre Delecto. The headline plays on “in flagrante delicto,” which means to be caught red-handed. Work these 18 other Latin phrases into your vocabulary if you want to sound really smart.

punny headline Shutterstock (2),

Cheeto lickin’ good

The Orange County Register lived up to his name with this delectably tasty headline that puns on Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black, a show title that references the bright hue of prison jumpsuits. This luscious junk food mash-up was only on menus for four weeks, so you’ll have to try this one at home. Next, read on for 15 punny food pick up lines that are intentionally cheesy.

Molly Pennington, PhD
Molly is a writer and collage artist with a PhD in film and cultural studies from the University of Pittsburgh. Her professional astrology services and artwork are available at Baroque Moon Astrology. She covers the zodiac, books, movies, TV and culture for Reader’s Digest, and loves to talk about all the ways we make meaning.