9 Jokes Research Proved to Be Funny
What's the funniest of them all? Here are the jokes that research, experts, and funny people determined to be the most hilarious of all time.
Why are some jokes funnier than others?
Some jokes may just elicit a small chuckle while others will have you laughing so hard that you cry. So, what makes certain jokes better than others? Researchers at Oxford University conducted a study to find out. They analyzed the reactions of 55 undergraduates from the London School of Economics to 65 different jokes claiming to be the funniest jokes of all time. The jokes were mostly from standup comedians. Some were one-liners and others were longer and more complex.
In the end, they found that the jokes that got the most laughs have two characters and up to five levels of back and forth between the comedian and the audience. If jokes became too intricate, people lost interest and didn’t find them as funny. Increasing the “mentalizing complexity” of a joke does make it better, but only up to a certain point.
Here are the jokes that came out on top. How funny do you think they are? These are the 50 jokes that we think are the funniest.
Mr. Fix It
A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?”
The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?”
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?”
He says, “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?”
Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?”
He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?”
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened.
“Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says.
“Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls.
The wife says, “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.”
“Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband.
“What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?” Read up on the history of the world in dumb jokes.
Love for the game
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.”
“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?”
The neighbor says, “Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative, or even a neighbor to take her seat?”
The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
One wish each
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.” Here are the 50 funniest jokes about all 50 states.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Late for work
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!”
He replies. “Why? What happened at 8:30?”
Room 1, 2, or 3?
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, “No, let me see the next room.”
In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee, and eating pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.” Satan says ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “Ok, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!” If you want to impress your friends, these clever jokes will make you sound smart.
One in a million
China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
Outrun the bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”
“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.” If you can’t remember these long jokes the next time you want to make people laugh, try these short jokes that anyone can remember.