30 Hilarious Made Up Words You’ll Want to Start Using
Just remember, people might not understand you if you start using these.
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” —Through the Looking Glass
I agree with Mr. Dumpty: Words have meaning. But surely we can seize upon a meaning and then create a word to match it. The following words—some culled from the crowdsourced online dictionary urbandictionary.com and others I’ve concocted myself—don’t exist according to Merriam-Webster … but should. I call them “worderfuls.”
(ah kra-‘peh-luh) adj.—Sung (badly) while listening to music using headphones.
(ath-‘leh-ther-jee) n.—The triumph of the La-Z-Boy over the StairMaster.
(‘bays-bull) n.—The endless litany of RBIs, ERAs, OPS, WHIP, and hits at the fingertips of every major-league basebore.
(‘beer-bohrd) v.—To extract secret information from colleagues by getting them drunk.
(‘blaym-stohr-ming)n.—The act of attempting to identify the person who is most at fault for a plan’s failure.
(‘kahr-kuh-lep-see) n.—The tendency to fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving.
(kah-‘roh-muh) n.—The smell of that month-old bean burrito under the front seat that keeps you out of the carpool.
(‘sel-fish) n.—Someone who talks on the phone to the exclusion of those he or she is with.
(‘chair-drohb) n.—A chair on which one piles clothes that belong in the closet. Not to be confused with a floordrobe.
(‘chip-teez) n.—A bag of potato chips that seems full but is mostly air.
(des-tuh-‘nee-zhuh) n.—When you get to where you intended to go but forget why you wanted to go there.
(‘dood-vohrs) n.—When two bros end their friendship. These words are so funny that they sound made up.
(duh-‘leh-muh) n.—The choice between two equally boring outcomes.
(ih-‘pih-fuh-not) n.—An idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect.
(‘air-er-ist) n.—Someone who is repeatedly or invariably wrong.
(foh-‘pah-luh-jee) n.—An insincere expression of regret.
(il-lih-tuh-‘ray-shuhn) n.—The mistaken impression that you know more about rhetorical devices than you really do.
(‘in-ter-nest) n.—The cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself for extended periods on the Internet.
(‘mee-toks) v.—To take a break from self-absorption.
(nahr-suh-‘sek-shoo-uhl) n.—Someone attracted only to him- or herself.
(‘nurd-jak-ing) n.—Filling a conversation with unnecessary detail about one’s passion to an obviously uninterested bystander.
(non-ver-‘say-shuhn) n.—A completely meaningless or useless conversation.
(pree-‘gret) v.—To know what you’re about to do is wrong, wrong, wrong while also knowing you will do it anyway.
(‘preh-stih-toot) n.—A biased or one-sided journalist.
(prih-‘teen-shuhs) adj.—A level of drama achievable only by a 12-year-old.
(‘sih-ner-jee) n.—When two bad acts feel as good as three.
(‘suh-krih-fys) n.—Doing what you absolutely must do, even though you really, really hate it.
(tekst-pek-‘tay-shuhn) n.—The anticipation felt when awaiting a response to a text.
(ty-per-‘ven-tih-layt) v.—To send messages in rapid sequence.
(uhn-‘ly-ten) v.—To learn something that makes you dumber. Next, read about these words that don’t mean what you think they do.