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38 Math Jokes to Get Every Nerd Through Pi Day

Celebrate March 14—aka Pi Day—with these corny math jokes, puns and one-liners. Don't worry: Unlike pi, it won't go on forever.

Pi Day Jokes, getty images

Punny pi jokes everyone will chuckle at

Like my favorite middle-school teacher always said: The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are derivative, trig jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are formulaic and arithmetic jokes are just basic.  (But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.)

If you are cringing right now, you know how my entire 8th grade math class felt every day. However, it is important to know a few good jokes for every occasion—even if only the smarty pants in the room will get them. Some of the best math jokes center around pi and Pi Day (3/14). Sure, there are really interesting pi facts out there, but these jokes prove that math can be funny, too. If you’re looking for ways to celebrate Pi Day, one way to enjoy it is to indulge in these hilarious Pi Day jokes. You may also want to check out some of these Pi Day deals.

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Why Should You Never Talk To Pi

Why should you never talk to pi?

Because he’ll just go on forever. Gotta love a short joke dedicated to pi!

Why Do Teenagers Travel In Groups Of Three

Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?

Because they can’t even. Talk about a clever joke!

Did You Hear About The Mathematician Whos Afraid Of Negative Numbers

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. This has to be one of the funniest jokes to break out on Pi Day!

What Do You Get When You Take A Bovie And Divide Its Circumference By Its Diameter

What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?

A cow pi. We love a good combo of math and cow jokes.

Did You Hear About The Statistician Who Drowned Crossing A River

Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river?

It was three feet deep on average. Don’t worry, we have plenty more math riddles up our sleeve.

A Farmer Counted 196 Cows In The Field

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200. Check out these animal memes for more laughs.

What Do You Call A Number That Cant Keep Still

What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A roamin’ numeral. Need more math humor? Browse through these accounting jokes that really add up.

Why Dont Calculus Majors Have House Parties

Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive. Memorize these math puns for more number-themed humor.

Three Statistictions Go Out Hunting Together

Three statisticians go out hunting together.

After a while, they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out, “We got him!”

How Do Mathematicians Scold Their Children

How do mathematicians scold their children?

“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…” This a good math and dad joke combo!

Old Mathematicians Never Die

Old mathematicians never die.

They just lose some of their functions. Read up on some of the hardest riddles ever. Can you solve them?

Did You Hear The One About The Statistician

Did you hear the one about the statistician?


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Mobius Strip

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the same side.

Why Do Mathematicians Like Parks

Why do mathematicians like parks?

Because of all the natural logs.

What Happens When You Put A Root Beer In A Square Glass

What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?

It just becomes beer.

Infinitely Many Mathemeticians Walk Into A Bar

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your limits.”

Parallel Lines Have So Much In Common

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s too bad they’ll never meet.

Why Was The Math Lecture So Long

Why was the math lecture so long?

Because the professor kept going off on a tangent.

Why Should You Never Mention The Number 288

Why should you never mention the number 288?

It’s two gross.

Why Can Math Books Be So Depressing

Why can math books be so depressing?

Because they’re filled with problems.

When Is Math Like Poetry

When is math like poetry?

When you do an in-verse variation.

Math Is A Part Of Nature

Math is a part of nature.

Especially geometry (geome-tree.)

What Kind Of Math Do You Learn In English Class

What kind of math do you learn in English class?

Add-verbs and add-jectives.

Whats The Best Way To Woo A Mathematician

What’s the best way to woo a mathematician?

Use acute angle.

The Moons Not Made Of Cheese

The moon’s not made of cheese.

It’s a pi in the sky!

What Do You Need To Grow Your Trigonometry Skills

What do you need to grow your trigonometry skills?

Square roots. Check out more corny jokes that everyone will enjoy.

Whats The Best Way To Visualize Infinity

What’s the best way to visualize infinity?

With a pi chart!

Why Does Algebra Make You A Better Dancer

Why does algebra make you a better dancer?

Because you can use algo-rhythms.

What Kind Of Snake Does Your Math Teacher Own

What kind of snake does your math teacher own?

A pi-thon.

What Tv Show Can Help You Grasp Infinite Numbers

What TV show can help you grasp infinite numbers?

Magnum P.I.

Whats The Ideal Way To Serve Pi Joke

What’s the ideal way to serve pi?

À la mode! Anything less is mean.

Where Should You Do Your Math Homework

Where should you do your math homework?

On a multiplication table.

Whats The Best Formula To Get From Point A To Point B

What’s the best formula to get from point A to point B?

Just take an x-y plane or a rhom-bus.

Where Do Methematicians Party

Where do mathematicians party?

In bar graphs. Learn about how pi was almost changed to 3.2 before this year’s Pi Day.

How Do You Do Math In Your Head

How do you do math in your head?

Using imaginary numbers.

Dont Let Advanced Math Intimidate You

Don’t let advanced math intimidate you!

It’s as easy as pi!

The Roundest Knight At Sir Arthurs Round Table Was Sir Cumference

The roundest knight at Sir Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference.

He ate too much pi.

What Did Pi Say To Its Partner

What did pi say to its partner?

Stop being so irrational. Now that you’ve laughed your way through these Pi Day jokes, keep up the smiles with these short jokes for kids.

Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Reader’s Digest runs it.

Additional reporting by Brandon Specktor and Emma Taubenfeld