Q: How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?
A: His sleigh is flown by raindeer
RD.COM Jokes Christmas Jokes Santa Jokes
Santa Jokes
These Santa jokes are guaranteed to put you on the nice list.
Santa Claus is always in town with these funny Santa jokes, elf jokes and reindeer jokes that make it feel like Christmas every day. Check out our Christmas jokes and holiday jokes to spread more holiday cheer.
Scroll For More >>
Merry Measure
Q. What's St. Nicholas's favorite measurement in the metric system?
A. The Santameter!
By Briana, age 7
Q. What's St. Nicholas's favorite measurement in the metric system?
A. The Santameter!
By Briana, age 7
Ho Ho Ow
Q. What's red and white and falls down chimneys?
A. Santa Klutz!
Q. What's red and white and falls down chimneys?
A. Santa Klutz!
Get more jokes, puns and riddles
- Animal Jokes
- Animal Puns
- Bad Puns
- Bar Jokes
- Birthday Jokes
- Cat Jokes
- Cat Puns
- Christmas Jokes
- Coffee Jokes
- Computer Jokes
- Corny Jokes
- Customer Service Jokes
- Cute Puns
- Dad Jokes
- Daily Life Jokes
- Diet Jokes
- Doctor Jokes
- Dog Jokes
- Dog Puns
- Dumb and Funny Jokes
- Easter Jokes
- Family Jokes
- Food Jokes
- Food Puns
- Funny Headlines
- Funny Quotes
- Funny Stories
- Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Holiday Jokes
- Kids’ Jokes
- Knock-Knock Jokes
- Lawyer Jokes
- Love Jokes
- Marriage Jokes
- Math Jokes
- Math Puns
- Military Jokes
- Mom Jokes
- Money Jokes
- Music Puns
- Office Jokes
- Old Age Jokes
- One-Liners
- Political Jokes
- Puns
- Relationship Jokes
- Religious Jokes
- Riddles
- Santa Jokes
- School Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Skeleton Puns
- Sports Jokes
- Text Jokes
- Thanksgiving Jokes
- Travel Jokes
- Turkey Jokes
- Valentine’s Day Jokes
- Weather Jokes
- Weight Loss Jokes
SEE ALL CATEGORIES
Scroll For More >>
Oh Deer
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners?
A. RUDE-olph, of course!
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners?
A. RUDE-olph, of course!
Pringle Bells
Q. What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip?
A. Crisp Pringles!
Q. What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip?
A. Crisp Pringles!
They Love It Deerly
Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A. Because they're Santa's star bucks!
Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A. Because they're Santa's star bucks!
Sporty Santa
Q. What's Santa Claus's favorite track & field event?
A. North Pole-vaulting!
Q. What's Santa Claus's favorite track & field event?
A. North Pole-vaulting!
Santa Snacks
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
A: Crisp Pringles.
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
A: Crisp Pringles.
Santa’s Helpers
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Santa Speak
Q: What is Santa’s primary language?
A: North Polish.
Q: What is Santa’s primary language?
A: North Polish.
Non-Believer
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Santa’s in Debt
Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less.
Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less.
Jingle, Rinse, and Spin
Q: What is Santa Claus' laundry detergent of choice?
A: Yule-Tide.
Q: What is Santa Claus' laundry detergent of choice?
A: Yule-Tide.
Holiday Half Bath
Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
A: He uses Comet.
Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
A: He uses Comet.
Santa Is A Punk Rocker
Q: What's Santa's favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.
Q: What's Santa's favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.
Soul Santa
Q: Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
A: Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.
Q: Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
A: Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.
Kung Fu Santa
Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
He has a black belt.
Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
He has a black belt.
His Favorite Song is “Blue Christmas”
Q: Who is Santa's favorite singer?
A: Elf-is Presley.
Q: Who is Santa's favorite singer?
A: Elf-is Presley.
Maybe Even a Standing O-Ho-Ho
Q: What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
A: Santapplause!
Q: What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
A: Santapplause!
Class With Claus
Q: What do you say to Santa when he's taking attendance at school?
A: Present.
Q: What do you say to Santa when he's taking attendance at school?
A: Present.
Can Plants Even Grow at the North Pole…?
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Elf Therapy
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
What About Ho-Ho-Home Insurance?
Q:What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?
A: A dependent Claus.
By Sam Benson Smith
Q:What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?
A: A dependent Claus.
By Sam Benson Smith
Santa on the Brain
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
Santa Goes Shopping
Q: Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?
A: Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe.
Q: Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?
A: Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe.
When the Sleigh’s in the Shop
Q: What kind of bike does Santa Claus ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.
Q: What kind of bike does Santa Claus ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.
Santa the Sleuth
Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
A: Santa Clues!
Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
A: Santa Clues!
Santa’s True Citizenship
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish
Santa Hits the Shore
Q: When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
A: Sandy Claus
Q: When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
A: Sandy Claus
Now We Know
Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney?
A: Because it soots him!
Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney?
A: Because it soots him!
That’s Gonna Leave a Mark
Q: What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
A: Crisp Kringle.
Q: What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
A: Crisp Kringle.
Claus’s Canine
Q: What’s Santa’s dog’s name?
A: Santa Paws!
Q: What’s Santa’s dog’s name?
A: Santa Paws!
Body Double
Q: What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
A: Santa’s shadow!
Q: What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
A: Santa’s shadow!
Time Flies When You’re Having Fun
Q: Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Good Luck Getting Grumpy to Make Toys
Q: Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
A: Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
Q: Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
A: Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
Cloudy With a Chance Of Reindeer
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?
A: Looks like rain, dear!
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?
A: Looks like rain, dear!
Santa the Martial Artist
Q: How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
A: He has a black belt!
Q: How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
A: He has a black belt!
His Favorite is the Double (Christmas) Tree
Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
A: At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.
Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
A: At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.
Santa Denier
Q: What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Q: What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Now I Know My ABCs
Q: How does Santa sing the alphabet?
A: A B C D E F G...
H I J K L M N
Oh!, Oh!, Oh!,
P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Q: How does Santa sing the alphabet? A: A B C D E F G… H I J K L M N Oh!, Oh!, Oh!, P Q R S T...
Up On the Housetop
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
Scary Santa
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Double Parked
Q: Why did Santa get a parking ticket last Christmas Eve?
A: He was making a special delivery and left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
Q: Why did Santa get a parking ticket last Christmas Eve?
A: He was making a special delivery and left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.