Q: How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm?
A: His sleigh is flown by raindeer
Santa Jokes
These Santa jokes are guaranteed to put you on the nice list.
Santa Claus is always in town with these funny Santa jokes, elf jokes and reindeer jokes that make it feel like Christmas every day. Check out our Christmas jokes and holiday jokes to spread more holiday cheer.
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Merry Measure
Q. What's St. Nicholas's favorite measurement in the metric system?
A. The Santameter!
By Briana, age 7
Ho Ho Ow
Q. What's red and white and falls down chimneys?
A. Santa Klutz!
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Oh Deer
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners?
A. RUDE-olph, of course!
Pringle Bells
Q. What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip?
A. Crisp Pringles!
They Love It Deerly
Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A. Because they're Santa's star bucks!
Sporty Santa
Q. What's Santa Claus's favorite track & field event?
A. North Pole-vaulting!
Santa Snacks
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
A: Crisp Pringles.
Santa’s Helpers
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Santa Speak
Q: What is Santa’s primary language?
A: North Polish.
Non-Believer
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Santa’s in Debt
Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less.
Jingle, Rinse, and Spin
Q: What is Santa Claus' laundry detergent of choice?
A: Yule-Tide.
Holiday Half Bath
Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
A: He uses Comet.
Santa Is A Punk Rocker
Q: What's Santa's favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.
Soul Santa
Q: Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
A: Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.
Kung Fu Santa
Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
He has a black belt.
His Favorite Song is “Blue Christmas”
Q: Who is Santa's favorite singer?
A: Elf-is Presley.
Maybe Even a Standing O-Ho-Ho
Q: What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
A: Santapplause!
Class With Claus
Q: What do you say to Santa when he's taking attendance at school?
A: Present.
Can Plants Even Grow at the North Pole…?
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Elf Therapy
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
What About Ho-Ho-Home Insurance?
Q:What do you call Kris Kringle when he goes on his wife’s health insurance?
A: A dependent Claus.
By Sam Benson Smith
Santa on the Brain
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
Santa Goes Shopping
Q: Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?
A: Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe.
When the Sleigh’s in the Shop
Q: What kind of bike does Santa Claus ride?
A: A Holly Davidson.
Santa the Sleuth
Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
A: Santa Clues!
Santa’s True Citizenship
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish
Santa Hits the Shore
Q: When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
A: Sandy Claus
Now We Know
Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney?
A: Because it soots him!
That’s Gonna Leave a Mark
Q: What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
A: Crisp Kringle.
Claus’s Canine
Q: What’s Santa’s dog’s name?
A: Santa Paws!
Body Double
Q: What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
A: Santa’s shadow!
Time Flies When You’re Having Fun
Q: Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Good Luck Getting Grumpy to Make Toys
Q: Why does Santa have elves in his workshop?
A: Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!
Cloudy With a Chance Of Reindeer
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?
A: Looks like rain, dear!
Santa the Martial Artist
Q: How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
A: He has a black belt!
His Favorite is the Double (Christmas) Tree
Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
A: At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.
Santa Denier
Q: What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Now I Know My ABCs
Q: How does Santa sing the alphabet? A: A B C D E F G… H I J K L M N Oh!, Oh!, Oh!, P Q R S T...
Up On the Housetop
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
Scary Santa
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Double Parked
Q: Why did Santa get a parking ticket last Christmas Eve?
A: He was making a special delivery and left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
