60 Vegetable Puns That Are Un-Beet-Able

These puns will definitely leaf you laughing!

Who doesn’t love a good food pun? Fruit puns, avocado puns, and other food-themed puns make us giggle—and make our stomachs rumble, too. Some food puns that are unbe-leaf-ably funny are vegetable puns.

Yes, those nutritious and delicious diet staples can make you chuckle. Here are some of the best of the bunch—and don’t forget to use these food pick up lines to make your date laugh out loud!

Green vegetable puns

1. Did you hear about the vegetable’s trip? It’s going into un-chard-ed territories!

2. Why was the artichoke feeling sad? It had a broken heart.

3. Can I get some peas and quiet?!

4. I’m kale-ing it a day.

5. Peas don’t go.

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Bean puns

6. Where have you bean all my life?

7. What do you call a bean that’s envious of another vegetable? A jelly bean!

8. Bean there, done that.

9. Thank you for bean-ing a friend.

10. What do you call beans that have been in the sun too long? Baked beans!

11. Why did the klutzy and gossipy chef get fired? He couldn’t stop spilling the beans.

12. You’ve bean on my mind…

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Corn cob wearing a military badgerd.com, Getty Images

Corn puns

13. Why did the farmer lose the comedy competition? His jokes were too corny.

14. You’re a-maize-ing

15. Have you tried the best corn in the country? It’s ear-resistable!

16. What did the ear of corn say when its crush complimented it? “Aww, shucks!”

17. What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.

18. The corn farmer doesn’t like to make plans—he prefers to play everything by ear.

19. What’s the highest position an ear of corn can get in the military? Kernel.

20. Did you hear about the piece of corn that got in trouble? It got quite the earful.

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Carrot wearing Karate Kid headband and beltrd.com, Getty Images

Carrot puns

21. Did you hear about the two bunnies’ engagement? One of them got a 10-carrot ring!

22. What’s a carrot’s favorite movie? The Carrot-tie Kid.

23. Why did the carrot make a hair appointment? Its roots were showing.

24. I really carrot-bout you!

25. What’s a carrot’s favorite song? Carrot On Wayward Son.

26. Of course carrots like sports—they love rooting for their favorite team.

27. I do not carrot all.

28. Why did the carrot visit a psychic? To get its carrot cards read.

29. Why was the snowman embarrassed when shopping for carrots? It was picking its nose.

30. What’s a carrot’s favorite drink? Root beer.

RELATED: Simple Carrot Recipes

Head of lettuce wearing glasses with lightbulb over headrd.com, Getty Images

Lettuce puns

31. Romaine calm!

32. Lettuce know if you’re having a good time.

33. What happened to the lettuce farmers who had their crops stolen? They lost their heads!

34. Care to chat for the romaine-der of the meeting?

35. You won’t be-leaf this!

36. Did you hear about the hardworking lettuce bunch? It was promoted to head of its department!

37. Lettuce romaine friends after all this.

38. Why did the head of lettuce get all dressed up? It was going on a romaine-tic date.

39. That romaines a mystery…

40. Lettuce entertain you.

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Salad puns

41. What did the man do with his days-old salad? He tossed it.

42. I’ve never made Caesar salad before—but I can take a stab at it.

43. Why was the celery embarrassed? It walked in on the salad dressing.

44. The salad got into a fight with its friend and said some harsh words—now, it’s full of vin-regret.

45. Why was the salad so tired? It was tossing and turning all night!

Tomato puns

46. Why did the tomato stay after school? To ketchup on its schoolwork.

47. Is it too-mate to say sorry?

48. I love you from my head to-ma-toes!

49. Does it really ‘mater?

50. What did the pizza say to the tomato? “Don’t get saucy with me!”

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Beet puns

51. You’re un-beet-lievable.

52. Why was the DJ a hit at vegetable parties? She dropped good beets.

53. You make my heart skip a beet!

54. What school superlative did the happy beet get? Most up-beet.

55. Beet it!

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Broccoli stalk playing guitar with music notesrd.com, Getty Images

Broccoli puns

56. You brock!

57. What did the tomato yell to its broccoli getaway driver after robbing a bank? “Floret!”

58. What’s broccoli’s favorite music genre? Brock n’ roll.

59. Why did cauliflower try to cheer up broccoli? It was feeling a little melon-ccoli.

60. What did the waitress say when the restaurant ran out of broccoli? “Sorry, we’re out of stalk.”

If you thought these vegetable puns were good, just wait until you see our other hilarious food puns!

Kelly Kuehn
Kelly Kuehn is a former editor for Reader’s Digest who covered entertainment, trivia and history. When she’s not working you can find her watching the latest and greatest movies, listening to a true-crime podcast (or two), blasting ‘90s music and hiking with her dog, Ryker, throughout the Finger Lakes.