45 Funny (and Sweet) Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids
Updated: May 23, 2023
Get ready for some serious giggles. Your little loves will get a kick out of these adorable Valentine’s Day jokes—and so will you!
A box of chocolates. A dozen roses. A candlelit dinner for two. On Valentine’s Day, romance gets all the love when it comes to Valentine’s Day ideas. But what about heartfelt smiles and laughter with family and friends? For kids, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to spread love with sweet hugs and handmade cards. Of course, we know the cute rhymes and Valentine’s Day jokes in these cards are often written with a little help from a parent, grandparent or caregiver. If you’re searching for the very best Valentine’s Day jokes for kids, look no further!
We’ve searched the Internet and archives for Valentine’s Day puns, sweet riddles, short jokes for kids, love jokes and adorable Valentine’s jokes for the kiddos—and adults too. Even these Valentine’s Day memes may give them a laugh!
1. What’s red on the outside and has you on the inside?
My heart. Ba-dum-bump!
2. What did one Jedi say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Yoda one for me!
3. What did the cook say to his girlfriend?
You’re bacon me crazy!
4. What did one lightbulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
I love you watts and watts.
Of course, these Valentine’s Day jokes for kids aren’t the only things that will brighten their day. These age-appropriate riddles will also do the trick!
5. What did the refrigerator say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.
6. How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart?
He gave her a ring.
7. What kind of candy is never on time?
ChocoLATE. (Hahaha. Writing puns is harder than it looks.)
8. What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflower.
9. What did the volcano say to his mother?
I lava you.
10. What did the squirrel say to his mate?
I’m nuts about you.
Pair this silly pun with a Reese’s cup, Payday or Almond Joy for a picture-perfect Valentine’s Day card. Just make sure your recipients don’t have nut allergies! If you still need a card, check out these printable Valentine’s Day cards.
11. Why are flowers popular on Valentine’s Day?
Because they’re scent-imental! (Awww.)
12. What did the kitten say on Valentine’s Day?
You’re purr-fect.
13. Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
His heart wasn’t in it. (Tee-hee!)
14. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?
He stole her heart.
15. What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
Whale you be mine?
This sort of Valentine’s Day joke for kids is particularly great because it uses a pun, which brings a playful twist to language development. Here are more “pun-derfully” funny puns for kids that you can use all year long.
16. What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?
A Valen-tiny.
17. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!
18. What did the cucumber say to his friend?
You mean a great dill to me.
19. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.
20. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine’s Day?
Tulips.
21. Happy Valentine’s Day! Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my Valentine?
22. Hello again! Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!
Don’t miss more knock-knock jokes for kids that will knock their socks off.
23. What do you say to a spider on Valentine’s Day?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
24. What did one bee say to the other?
I love bee-ing with you, honey. (This Valentine’s Day joke for kids is as sweet as they come!)
25. What did the painter say to her sweetheart?
I love you with all my art.
26. What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day?
Be my Valen-stein!
27. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes! It’s Feb. 14.
28. What did one pie say to the other?
Pie like you berry much.
29. What did the needle say to the thread?
You’re sew special to me.
30. What did the tree say to the houseplant?
Do you beleaf in love?
31. What did the scientist say to his sweetheart?
We’ve got good chemistry.
32. What did the dustpan say to the broom?
You sweep me off my feet!
33. What did one sheep say to the other?
I love ewe!
34. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
Their ghoul-friend.
35. Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party?
Because you can really party hearty!
36. What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card?
Be my Valen-slime!
37. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
38. What shade of red is your heart?
Beat red!
39. Why would you want to marry a goalie?
Because he (or she) is a real keeper!
40. What shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day?
Acute triangle.
41. Why couldn’t the calendar work late on Valentine’s Day?
He had a date.
42. What did the street performer say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
Be mime!
43. What did the doorknob write to his love in their Valentine’s Day card?
“I adoor you!”
44. Why couldn’t the two shooting stars spend Valentine’s Day together?
It simply wasn’t meant to be—they were star-crossed lovers.
45. What did the man say after Cupid hit him with a love arrow?
“Ow!”
Now that you’ve read these hilarious Valentine’s Day jokes for kids, check out the funniest Valentine’s Day cards we’re buying this year.
