25 Funny Relationship Tweets That Are Hysterically Accurate

Ah, romantic relationships. There’s so much we can learn from them. There’s even a lot we can learn from the absence of them! All relationships have their ups and downs: Being single, dating, breaking up, dating again, getting married, having kids, not having kids, growing old together, and remaining young at heart together! All that drama means that there’s a pithy tweet for every stage of love. It’s just a fact that relationship tweets make up some of the funniest tweets on the Internet. Who hasn’t had a crush that persisted even after you knew they weren’t quite right for you, or been the only single one out of all your friends for a few months? Even when you find true love, the person you love most might also be the most annoying person to live with. These are the kinds of subjects that make relationships tweets into funny relatable tweets. Whatever goes wrong (or right!) in your love life, however, you know you’ll always have your best pals to lean on. Or, if they’re a little held up, you can rely on the funniest best friend tweets for those same laughs and commiserations. Whether you’re madly in love, comfortably settled, or still waiting for the one to appear in your life, these tweets about relationships will strike a chord of recognition that you can practically hear. Or was that your phone going off? Maybe you have a new dating app match!

Relationship tweets about parenting

Nothing brings you closer together than a shared goal. Like getting the kids to finally sleep.

Who called it speed dating and not musical pairs?

— (This part is superfluous.) (@MommyWhoTweets) April 25, 2021

Wife: “I got a babysitter tonight, we get to go on a date.”

“Amazing. What do you want to do?”

“I’ve got it all planned out. First we’re going to go to Target and run some errands… without the kids!”

Can literally hear the excitement in her voice

— Austen Allred (@Austen) April 24, 2021

RELATED: Funny Parenting Tweets

My wife just pulled me into the other room and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk but she just wanted to give me m&m’s without the kids seeing.

— dADDisms (@Beagz) May 7, 2020

Tweets about relationships (when you’re single)

Sure, being single can be rough, but these relationship tweets might remind you that dating can be… equally rough.

First date y’all get to know each other, second date you meet the family, third date you propose.

— ?????’? (@lindoparis) April 23, 2021

One of my fave genres of Insta post is a series of couple photos like ‘I walked through fire to FINALLY get my happy ending after YEARS & YEARS of dating losers, hang in there single gals it can happen to you!’ And then you go on their profile & they’re only 22 ??

— Juliet Mushens (@mushenska) April 25, 2021

Just remembered that I have to go on another first date if I ever want to get married
Much to think about

— kate (@kate_a21) April 26, 2021

are you on good terms w your exes or are you normal

— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) April 22, 2020

Until further notice, please refrain from the following topics of conversation:

-my weight
-relationship status
-property ownership
-age
-employment opportunities
-the weather
-America
-sleep
-feelings

The following is a list of alternate, safe topics:

-bread

— chris. (@azedand2knots) April 18, 2021

can’t believe I just have to keep dating until someone likes me back or I die

— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) December 2, 2018

RELATED: Funniest People to Follow on Twitter

nothing has been nor will ever be more chaotic than the “it’s complicated” relationship status option on facebook

— annika? (@annikamarrie) April 23, 2021

crazy how before dating apps the only way to meet someone was to bump headfirst into them while carrying a huge stack of important papers

— rob, from online. ? (@robfromonline) January 8, 2020

Long term relationship tweets

There’s nothing like getting to know someone over many years, understanding their fears, dreams, and foibles, and becoming accepting of each others’ flaws. And then using that hard-won knowledge to write funny tweets about relationships.

Me to my fiancé the night before our wedding: “we still on for tomorrow?”

— becalicious (@Queen_Beca) April 18, 2020

My boyfriend just said “HEYYYY” and I yelled “MUST BE THE MONAYYYY” because I did not realize that he had just started a Zoom conference call.

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) April 3, 2020

My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” and there are no winners

— Eric Spiegelman (@ericspiegelman) April 4, 2020

my co worker is getting married.

She said that she didn’t realize how expensive changing her last name is.

Her and her husband decided if they are going to spend money to have last names changed, they will choose something they both want.

Their new last name will be Nighthawk

— . (@Vandalyzm) March 10, 2020

My wife likes to keep the mystery in our relationship.

For example, I never know what is going to arrive for her from Amazon today.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 4, 2020

Before I was married I had no idea that I was always right.

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) April 24, 2021

This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I’m not out of his league.

— Rachel Noise (@RachelNoise) April 13, 2020

Sometimes I hide condiments from my husband by moving them 3 inches to the left.

— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) July 6, 2020

Wife: [looks at my hand] you lost your wedding ring when you were spinning it on the table, didn’t you?

Me: [not wanting to admit she is right] actually I’m having an affair.

— A Bearer Of Dad News?? (@HomeWithPeanut) March 1, 2021

50% of marriage is spent asking your spouse to help you find your keys.

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) December 12, 2020

my boyfriend is ordering equipment for the farm where he works, and every time I pass by I hear him muttering things like “I need bones” and “should I get a scythe?”

— Kim Kelly (@GrimKim) April 25, 2021

Friend: How many times does your alarm clock go off in the morning?

Me: Oh, I don’t know.

Husband: *shouting from other room* THIRTEEN, DIANE. THIRTEEN.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 4, 2020

{On the phone with my mom}

Me: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage?

Mom: We never hated each other on the same day.

— Ⓖⓗⓓ (@GingerHotDish) May 26, 2020

My husband surprised me with a night out to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. I was reminded of the man I fell in love with.

We arrived at the theater and learned the movie was playing at a different location a full hour earlier. I was reminded of the man I married.

— She Writes Good (@GoodSheWrites) December 23, 2019

NEXT: Marriage Memes