25 Funny Relationship Tweets That Are Hysterically Accurate
Updated: Mar. 28, 2022
Whether you're single (and waiting to mingle) or you've managed to survive lockdown with your partner, these funny relationship tweets are way too accurate.
Ah, romantic relationships. There’s so much we can learn from them. There’s even a lot we can learn from the absence of them! All relationships have their ups and downs: Being single, dating, breaking up, dating again, getting married, having kids, not having kids, growing old together, and remaining young at heart together! All that drama means that there’s a pithy tweet for every stage of love. It’s just a fact that relationship tweets make up some of the funniest tweets on the Internet. Who hasn’t had a crush that persisted even after you knew they weren’t quite right for you, or been the only single one out of all your friends for a few months? Even when you find true love, the person you love most might also be the most annoying person to live with. These are the kinds of subjects that make relationships tweets into funny relatable tweets. Whatever goes wrong (or right!) in your love life, however, you know you’ll always have your best pals to lean on. Or, if they’re a little held up, you can rely on the funniest best friend tweets for those same laughs and commiserations. Whether you’re madly in love, comfortably settled, or still waiting for the one to appear in your life, these tweets about relationships will strike a chord of recognition that you can practically hear. Or was that your phone going off? Maybe you have a new dating app match!
Relationship tweets about parenting
Nothing brings you closer together than a shared goal. Like getting the kids to finally sleep.
Who called it speed dating and not musical pairs?
ā (This part is superfluous.) (@MommyWhoTweets) April 25, 2021
Wife: āI got a babysitter tonight, we get to go on a date.ā
āAmazing. What do you want to do?ā
āIāve got it all planned out. First weāre going to go to Target and run some errands… without the kids!ā
Can literally hear the excitement in her voice
ā Austen Allred (@Austen) April 24, 2021
RELATED: Funny Parenting Tweets
My wife just pulled me into the other room and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk but she just wanted to give me m&mās without the kids seeing.
ā dADDisms (@Beagz) May 7, 2020
Tweets about relationships (when you’re single)
Sure, being single can be rough, but these relationship tweets might remind you that dating can be… equally rough.
First date yāall get to know each other, second date you meet the family, third date you propose.
ā ?????ā? (@lindoparis) April 23, 2021
One of my fave genres of Insta post is a series of couple photos like āI walked through fire to FINALLY get my happy ending after YEARS & YEARS of dating losers, hang in there single gals it can happen to you!ā And then you go on their profile & theyāre only 22 ??
ā Juliet Mushens (@mushenska) April 25, 2021
Just remembered that I have to go on another first date if I ever want to get married
Much to think aboutā kate (@kate_a21) April 26, 2021
are you on good terms w your exes or are you normal
ā Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) April 22, 2020
Until further notice, please refrain from the following topics of conversation:
-my weight
-relationship status
-property ownership
-age
-employment opportunities
-the weather
-America
-sleep
-feelingsThe following is a list of alternate, safe topics:
-bread
ā chris. (@azedand2knots) April 18, 2021
canāt believe I just have to keep dating until someone likes me back or I die
ā Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) December 2, 2018
RELATED: Funniest People to Follow on Twitter
nothing has been nor will ever be more chaotic than the āitās complicatedā relationship status option on facebook
ā annika? (@annikamarrie) April 23, 2021
crazy how before dating apps the only way to meet someone was to bump headfirst into them while carrying a huge stack of important papers
ā rob, from online. ? (@robfromonline) January 8, 2020
Long term relationship tweets
There’s nothing like getting to know someone over many years, understanding their fears, dreams, and foibles, and becoming accepting of each others’ flaws. And then using that hard-won knowledge to write funny tweets about relationships.
Me to my fiancĆ© the night before our wedding: āwe still on for tomorrow?ā
ā becalicious (@Queen_Beca) April 18, 2020
My boyfriend just said “HEYYYY” and I yelled “MUST BE THE MONAYYYY” because I did not realize that he had just started a Zoom conference call.
ā Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) April 3, 2020
My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” and there are no winners
ā Eric Spiegelman (@ericspiegelman) April 4, 2020
my co worker is getting married.
She said that she didn’t realize how expensive changing her last name is.
Her and her husband decided if they are going to spend money to have last names changed, they will choose something they both want.
Their new last name will be Nighthawk
ā . (@Vandalyzm) March 10, 2020
My wife likes to keep the mystery in our relationship.
For example, I never know what is going to arrive for her from Amazon today.
ā Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 4, 2020
Before I was married I had no idea that I was always right.
ā Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) April 24, 2021
This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Iām not out of his league.
ā Rachel Noise (@RachelNoise) April 13, 2020
Sometimes I hide condiments from my husband by moving them 3 inches to the left.
ā Laura Marie (@lmegordon) July 6, 2020
Wife: [looks at my hand] you lost your wedding ring when you were spinning it on the table, didn’t you?
Me: [not wanting to admit she is right] actually I’m having an affair.
ā A Bearer Of Dad News?? (@HomeWithPeanut) March 1, 2021
50% of marriage is spent asking your spouse to help you find your keys.
ā Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) December 12, 2020
my boyfriend is ordering equipment for the farm where he works, and every time I pass by I hear him muttering things like āI need bonesā and āshould I get a scythe?ā
ā Kim Kelly (@GrimKim) April 25, 2021
Friend: How many times does your alarm clock go off in the morning?
Me: Oh, I donāt know.
Husband: *shouting from other room* THIRTEEN, DIANE. THIRTEEN.
ā Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 4, 2020
{On the phone with my mom}
Me: Whatās your secret to 55 years of marriage?
Mom: We never hated each other on the same day.
ā ā¼āā (@GingerHotDish) May 26, 2020
My husband surprised me with a night out to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. I was reminded of the man I fell in love with.
We arrived at the theater and learned the movie was playing at a different location a full hour earlier. I was reminded of the man I married.
ā She Writes Good (@GoodSheWrites) December 23, 2019
NEXT: Marriage Memes
