50 Funny Coffee Quotes That Keep the Laughs Brewing
Updated: Nov. 04, 2022
Because good laughs and good coffee go hand-in-hand.
Funny quotes about your good ol’ Cup of Joe
Ah, coffee—what would we do without it? It’s a savior in the morning, giving us the energy to take on the day ahead. People love coffee so much that there’s a plethora of coffee puns, coffee jokes, and other coffee sayings that perfectly capture its significance in life. Now go grab a cup, sit down at the table, and enjoy these funny coffee quotes (and don’t forget to bookmark these funny wine quotes, too!)
Funny coffee quotes that speak to your soul
1. “Coffee is a language itself.”—Jackie Chan
2. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”—Lewis Black
3. “Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee.”—AJ Lee
4. “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”—Earl Wilson
5. “Smell the roses. Smell the coffee. Whatever it is that makes you happy.”—Rita Moreno
6. “If it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”—David Letterman
7. “To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.”—Hugh Jackman
8. “I gave up coffee. It’s almost worse than giving up a lover.”—Sandra Bullock
9. “I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”—Steven Wright
10. “Life’s too short for bad coffee.”—Gord Downie
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Relatable funny coffee quotes
11. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?”—Jean Kerr
12. “Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.”—Edward Abbey
13. “When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.”—Helen Hayes
14. “I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.”—Clark Gable
15. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that fairy tales aren’t real. I drink a potion made from magic beans every day, and it brings me back to life.”—Nanea Hoffman
16. “Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”—Thomas Jefferson
17. “Coffee first. Schemes later.”—Leanna Renee Hieber
18. “Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”—Anne Morrow Lindbergh
19. “It doesn’t matter where you’re from—or how you feel…there’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.”—Gabriel Bá
20. “Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.”—Alphonse Allais
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Funny coffee quotes to share on social media
21. “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”—Louisa May Alcott
22. “I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.”—Carly Simon
23. “They said I could be anything, so I decided to be caffeinated!”—Lizzie Chantree
24. “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”—City of Ashes
25. “Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”—David Lynch
26. “The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”—
27. “Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee.”–
28. “Never say no to coffee.”–
29. “You can’t buy happiness but you can buy coffee and that’s pretty close.”—Unknown
30. “Coffee smells like magic and fairytales.”—Allison Czarnecki
Funny coffee quotes to hang in your home
31. “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.”—T.S. Eliot
32. “Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.”—Jesse Lane Adams
33. “May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”—Unknown
34. “Coffee: creative lighter fluid.”—Floyd Maxwell
35. “Life is scary without coffee.”—Unknown
36. “Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.”—Terry Pratchett
37. “I would rather suffer from coffee than be senseless.”—Napoleon Bonaparte
38. “Less talk, more coffee.”—Unknown
39. “What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.”—Henry Rollins
40. “Any time is coffee time.”—Unknown
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Funny coffee quotes to share with fellow coffee lovers
41. “No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for “Before Coffee.”—Master of the Mountain
42. “A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.”—Unknown
43. “Coffee and chocolate—the inventor of mocha should be sainted.”—Hour of the Lion
44. “Just coffee. Black—like my soul.”—City of Bones
45. “What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee?”—Anthony Trollope
46. “I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.”—Jac Vanek
47. “Coffee in England is just toasted milk.”—Christopher Fry
48. “Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.”—Justina Chen
49. “The second cup of coffee is never as good as the first.”—Theodore Roosevelt
50. “I can’t imagine a day without coffee. I can’t imagine!”—Howard Schultz
If you liked these funny coffee quotes, you’ll love our list of the funniest quotes of all time.
