65 Favorite Friends Quotes That Couldn’t BE Any Funnier

We're reflecting on the passing of one of our beloved "friends" with some of the funniest Friends TV show quotes ever spoken

There are certain TV shows that stick with us forever, offering comfort, nostalgia and characters who feel like our best pals. Never has that been truer than with Friends, which gave us the unforgettable Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Joey, Ross and Phoebe. Nearly 30 years after it first aired, you’ll still hear Friends TV show quotes that are relevant today. Watching an episode feels like coming home, even if it’s one of those ’90s TV shows that you’ve watched over and over again.

So when the world heard of the passing of one of the beloved cast members, everyone took a shocked breath. On Saturday, Oct. 28, Matthew Perry passed away at the age of 54. With a keen sense of comedic timing and physical comedy chops, the Emmy-nominated actor gave a decade of hilarious performances as the sarcastic yet lovable Chandler Bing.

Fans have taken the news of his passing like a collective heartbreak. So in honor of Perry’s work on one of the best sitcoms of all time, we rounded up our favorite Friends TV show quotes. They’ll make you laugh and help you commemorate a piece of television history that will always “be there for you.”

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Chandler Bing quotes

Actors Courteney Cox Arquette (L), Jennifer Aniston (C) and Matthew Perry are shown in a scene from the NBC series "Friends"Handout/Getty Images

Of all the Friends characters, Chandler Bing is known for the funniest one-liners of the bunch. Just try to read these without giggling.

  1. “I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”
  2. “I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last … twelve hundred times.”
  3. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
  4. “I tend to keep talking till somebody stops me.”
  5. “Could we be more white trash?”
  6. “When I first meet somebody, it’s usually panic, anxiety and a great deal of sweating.”
  7. “I’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!”
  8. “I’m funny, right? What do you know? You’re a door. You just like knock-knock jokes.”
  9. “I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.”
  10. “I’m full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.”
  11. “I’m glad we’re having this rehearsal dinner. I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.”
  12. “It’s always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.”
  13. “Oh, man. In my next life, I’m coming back as a toilet brush!”
  14. “What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?”
  15. “Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?”
  16. “Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow, tin chest.”
  17. “Oh, I know. This must be so hard. ‘Oh, no! Two women love me. They’re both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet’s too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight!'”

Monica Geller quotes

Friends TV show quotes about cleaning, winning and being the absolute best? It must be Monica Geller!

  1. “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.”
  2. “You don’t tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.”
  3. Chandler: “I think we should let them win the next game.”
    Monica: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you just said.”
  4. Monica: “My boyfriend said he didn’t like my massages.”
    Chandler: “It’s OK. You don’t have to be the best at everything.”
    Monica: “Oh, my God! You don’t know me at all!”
  5. “Relinquish is just a fancy word for lose.”
  6. “Now, I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember: If I am harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.”
  7. “Not just health-department clean—Monica clean.”
  8. “I guess I’m not gonna be the mom who makes the world’s best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that, right?”

Rachel Green quotes

1998 Jennifer Aniston, Matthew Perry, and Courteney Cox in Year 4 of FriendsHandout/Getty Images

If the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Rachel Green is Jennifer Aniston’s iconic haircut, you need to brush up on these funny quotes!

  1. “No uterus? No opinion.”
  2. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?”
  3. “How do we end up with these jerks? We’re good people.”
  4. “I’m gonna go get one of those job things.”
  5. “Everyone I know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted, and I’m getting coffee! And it’s not even for me!”
  6. “Oh, my God. I’ve become my father. I’ve been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn’t see this coming.”
  7. “It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ And then today I just stopped, and I said, ‘What if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse, you know? Or a hat?'”
  8. “Well, maybe I don’t need your money. Wait, wait! I said, ‘Maybe.'”
  9. “It’s like there’s rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.”
  10. “Oh, that’s okay, girls tend to not like me.”

Ross Geller quotes

Goofy Ross Geller had some of the most memorable lines in television history. “We were on a break” goes down as one of the greatest relationship quotes of all time.

  1. “Pivot!”
  2. “I’m fine.
  3. “We were on a break!”
  4. “If you have to call me a name, I would prefer ‘Ross, the Divorcer.’ It’s just cooler.”
  5. “I honestly don’t know if I’m hungry or horny.”
  6. “Ah. Humor based on my pain.”
  7. “Wow. This is the first time I’ve walked down the aisle without the possibility of it ending in divorce.”
  8. “I tell you, when I actually die, some people are going to get seriously haunted.”
  9. “Unagi is a state of total awareness.”

Joey Tribbiani quotes

Friends Special Episode, "The One That Could Have Been, Part One" From L-R: Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry, Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox Arquette And Matt LeblancHandout/Getty Images

He might not be the smartest friend in the group, but Joey Tribbiani delivered some truly funny quotes.

  1. “How you doin’?”
  2. “That’s right, I stepped up! She’s my friend, and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!”
  3. “Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.”
  4. “Joey doesn’t share food!”
  5. “These are just feelings. They’re gonna go away.”
  6. “Over the line? You’re so far past the line that you can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to you!”
  7. “Here come the meat sweats.”
  8. “Look at me! I’m Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?”
  9. “You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.”
  10. “So why don’t you be a grown-up and come and watch some TV in the fort?”
  11. “Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.”

Phoebe Buffay quotes

The most eccentric of all the friends, Phoebe Buffay gave us plenty of zingers throughout the show’s 10-year run. If you’re hunting for some great friendship quotes to share with your pals, check out these hilarious Friends TV show quotes.

  1. “I’m very wise, I know.”
  2. “Come on, Ross. You’re a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.”
  3. “Oh, my god. Well, the idea of a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders!”
  4. “Something is wrong with the left phalange.”
  5. “Eye contact? I hope you were using protection.”
  6. “Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.”
  7. “Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.”
  8. “I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”
  9. “She’s your lobster. C’mon, you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws.”
  10. Monica: “Phoebe, do you have a plan?”
    Phoebe: “I don’t even have a ‘pla.'”


  • Associated Press: “Matthew Perry, Emmy-nominated ‘Friends’ star, dead at 54”

Kiersten Hickman
Kiersten Hickman is a journalist and content strategist with a main focus on nutrition, health and wellness coverage. She holds an MA in Journalism from DePaul University and a Nutrition Science certificate from Stanford Medicine. Her work has been featured in publications including Taste of Home, Reader's Digest, Bustle, Buzzfeed, INSIDER, MSN, Eat This, Not That! and more.